Dreams...

Dreams are beyond our wildest imagination. Without dreaming, I feel my life would be only a fraction of its actual potential. Through dreams I believe we live in alternate realities that hold as much value and worth as the one we claim to exist within. Who is to say (or not to say) that one reality is but a dream of another?

For a long time I performed many experiments on myself with dreaming. After all, the best guinea pig for such an event was undoubtedly myself. This way I could understand first hand what it was being experienced and the reactions thereof.

One of my best experiments was playing a favorite cd that was mostly 'soundscapes', set on repeat, and adjusted at a level that was just noticeable in the background without being too distracting. The entire cd would loop itself throughout the night so as certain sounds or songs came on, I would recognize it in my dreams. This began to happen more and more frequently to where I would awaken in the dream and I could begin to control what was happening. Some of the best results were using cd's with distinguishing vocal lines and lyrics that, when heard in the dream, gave me the idea that I was dreaming.

Sometimes it would just be faint reminder and I would be distracted from the dream just enough to smile to myself knowing that I was in two places at once. Other times, especially in the beginning, it would freak me out just enough to wake me up. A couple of things that I would like to express on this... If I was to panic and awaken that way, my body would feel as if I was beaten internally and it was not good. This took a considerable amount of control before I was completely comfortable again and could also become aware within the dream to not allow such an event to occur. For a couple of instances, I had found myself between both worlds suspended in darkness with only my own thoughts to be present. When I found my way to awaken myself, I arose with a gasp as if I was in suspended animation with only thoughts in motion. This was a curious concept as well. However, I will get to this a little later on.

When I would hear something recognizable, I had to be careful not to allow myself to focus on it too intensely, for that would pull me out of my dream state and into a waking world once more. The same would go if I mentioned it to anyone in my dream some of the time. But, if I were to use it to my advantage, I could reshape the events and all more to my liking. Many times I would hear a song playing over speakers in a place that I was in, or someone would speak to me the lyric of the song. With enough times of this occurrence, I began to experiment within the dream itself. One in particular, was attempting to fly. Of course this was not an easy task since so many times the mere idea of falling would awaken me. However, when I tried enough times within the dream, I found that it worked best when I was running and my body wanted me to move across the ground on all fours as if it were faster. I could then push off with my hands as if leaping and I would begin to gain more and more flight before my descending once more. After a short while, I could control my flight and was able to soar as long as I didn't focus on any ideology that such an event was told to be improbable in my waking reality. Some times were tricky to where I felt the gravity let go completely and I needed to hold onto something to stabilize myself, such as a close line or a cord along the ground. Other times, I would be able to do it without any doubt whatsoever and be able to land just the same. The flying dreams were always the best.

Of course, much of my initial struggles were with my own internal 'demons'. I call them this only because I lack a better word to describe them. In some of the dreams I would actually be face to face with someone that knew what I was doing and wanted to battle me so that I had to leave. Some of the time it would just be my own questioning of events, or recognizing the sounds too much and that would bring me back around. A few times when I was pulled through, I would find myself once again to be in between planes. I admit, in the beginning this frightened me, but when it occurred later, I was able to control my fear and drift in this empty void finding comfort within. I mentioned this partially earlier so to give a better description it would be as if I was floating in space with no stars at all to shine or guide me. If I was to think of the air supply, it could tip the balance to being there or not. The best was to just accept that all was fine. When I did accept that everything was okay, I could meditate in this state of being and pull myself either out of the realm completely and awaken refreshed, or I could begin to let the imagination take over once more to create a new world.

The most difficult thing to me is the concept of whether or not I always awaken in the same place that I started from. For all that I know, I could have been (and still am) waking in an entirely new world based from the most logical sides of my imagination so that it all feels real. The true questions would come to mind as, "does it really matter?" and "who would ever know the difference?"

Since the whole idea of dreams and dreaming is a very deep and engaging conversation, I believe I will come to a close with it for now until I take the time to expand more on this in the future. This will allow myself and the reader to question what has been written and in what ways in can be continued later on.